The Antics of a Drunken Mage
by turquoise.archer
Summary: "Kuro-drunk, where'd'ya goooo?"


**A/N**: Not my best work. Kinda slapped together? My first venture into the Humor area. Also my first venture into the TRC fandom.

Review anyway, please. :)

**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

Fai was drunk. He had downed six entire bottles of sake, much to Kuro-puppy's surprise. Speaking of Kuro-puppy, where was the ninja? Fai staggered over towards the living room of the small house they were renting. Who was it that had rented it to them? Fai couldn't remember; his mind was too foggy. Anyway, the house had a huge stock of alcohol, so who cared?

"Kuro-drunk, where'd'ya goooo?" He slurred.

Wait, what was wrapped around him? He shrieked and began tearing at the thing constricting him. He heard the tear of fabric as his shirt was revealed to be the culprit. He giggled, and then hiccupped.

Fai resumed his search for the ninja he had lost. He looked in the closet, in the bedroom, in the cabinets, and even under the couch, but there was no sign of Kurgy. It was only when he raised his head from under the couch did he see the passed out face of the one he'd been looking for. He did a victory dance, and promptly fell over.

When he recovered as much balance as he could, he tilted his head back and yelled, "Saaakk'rraaaa! S'ao… Sow… Sssss… Lil' Dog! C'mere!"

When he didn't get a response he yelled even louder, and finally remembered that Sakura and Syaoran had stayed with the person who had rented them the house, since this house was too small for all of them. Mokona had gone too. He and Kuro-sleepy had promptly grabbed the sake and gotten drunk. Kurogane had passed out after downing about five bottles.

Oh well, if they were gone, he had more time alone with Big Doggy! But Big Doggy wasn't responding to the mage's attempts to wake him up. He was curled up on the couch, snoring. Fai shrugged, and then shivered.

He ran through the house, emptying the two closets and anything else he came across. The house was really very small, he thought, scowling. Just a kitchen, a bathroom, the closets, and the living room! He couldn't find a jacket! So, he took off his pants, and put them on his arms. He crossed his arms as best he could, but then noticed the hanging light fixture on the ceiling.

Mesmerized, he watched it. Jumping onto the kitchen table, he realized that he could probably swing on it! He crouched down, and watched it, and then leaped! Fai succeeded in hanging for a few seconds before falling on his behind.

Proud of himself, he decided to have more sake. He poured it into a bowl, sat the bowl on the ground, and drank out of it like a cat. Fai then slipped on the kitchen tile because of the pants on his arms, and nearly went face first into the bowl. He giggled, and then tore off the pants, throwing them onto a nearby chair.

Oh, no! Kuro-face was probably lonely! He scrambled into the living room (still in only boxers and a tattered shirt) and jumped onto the couch, nearly crushing the ninja. Still, the black haired man wouldn't wake up! Fai hissed, and swatted Kurogane's face. The mage sniggered, and began using Kurogane's face as a sort of punching bag.

Suddenly, his eyes went wide. Oh no! What if Kurgy never woke up? Fai had to get him to the kitchen and spray him with water to wake him up! Kuro-tan would probably yell, but at least he would be awake! He jumped down, nearly tripping over a bottle left on the floor.

Fai grabbed Kurogane's arms, pulling the heavier man up. He started to back up towards the kitchen, but the same bottle tripped him, and the two men's combined weight brought them both down near the doorway. Fai landed first, and Kurogane landed on top of him, his chest nearly squishing Fai's face. Kuro-heavy was still fast asleep.

Only Fai's arms were free, and he began waving them around, screeching and yowling. His legs were trapped beneath Kurogane's. The ninja was much heavier than the mage, and in his intoxicated state, he wasn't able to see any way to get out from under Kurogane. Fai fell quiet, suddenly feeling really tired.

"G'night, K'ro-pin…" He gave Kurogane a hug and abruptly fell asleep.

Kurogane awoke the next morning, head absolutely _pounding._ He groaned loudly and sat up, unknowingly awaking the mage sleeping underneath him. He knew he shouldn't have drunk so much, but he did it anyway, and that's all he could remember about the night before. He closed his eyes and rubbed his aching temples, supporting himself with his knees.

He didn't even know where he was! He felt like he had slept on a bed of nails, and his throat felt like he had swallowed a burning porcupine. He managed to pry his eyes open and glance around before wincing and closing them again. The light felt like knives being dug into his eyes.

_Snicker._

Kurogane suddenly felt… _something_… lying underneath him. He suddenly realized that he was straddling someone. Almost afraid, he slowly looked down. Beneath him, clad only in boxers and a ripped shirt, was… _Fai? _And they were both in very, well, _provocative_ positions.

"Good morning Kuro-pervert!"

…

"WHAT THE _HELL_ HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?"


End file.
